I will call it peer pressure! For months on end, I resisted inspite of numerous email requests especially from my younger siblings, and friends.
Anyway. It is a nice tool to stay connected with loved ones, former school/work mates, and people of special interest.
So, I was looking through my pals photos and one caught my attention. She is now a mother of 2 sweet little ones, she wasn’t when I last met her. It was a kind of a surprise because she didn’t seem to have that ‘motherhood inclination’ . Does one ever?
So in this picture, she was probably at the Nairobi National park, and there I was musing, at just how motherhood really changes us. I have found that with time, my taste for many things has become aligned to that of my kids. Like this time in SA, Denzel and I took the kids to watch a movie (whereupon Denzel promptly fell asleep). And there I was, not really watching the movie but more so watching the expressions on my kids faces.
It is strange but in as much as I wan’t to steer my children in a certain direction, I find that they too would like to steer me into a certain other direction. What is strange is to find that I am all too eager to go with their wishes. Sort of like, “Mh, I think you have a point there, little one.” I realized quite early in time, that I don’t treat my children as kids, rather as people with a brain and a voice. Much to my chagrin when I need to step up as displinarian.
And then, my kids know how to manipulate me. (And not their dad!?) This, I have now learnt to spot in good time. Usually, it will begin somewhat like, ” Hi mum, did you have a good day/sleep/time at…?” Or this variation, ” Mum, you won’t believe how well I did today at school…” RED FLAG!!! It is usually a setup akin to let’s share some good news and the bad news will a) not be shared or b) impact will be slight or c) pardon will be granted without a big fuss. Much as it is difficult to cut their ’good naturedness’ short with , ” Ok. Get on with it. What happened? What did you do?” Sometimes, I have to put on the mask of sternness inorder to maintain order.
Er, where was this post going? Dunno. I suppose, I wanted to say that I am now in FB and it would be nice connecting with my blog buddies….
November 18, 2008 at 10:23 pm
hehehe… eh, the bug finally caught you!
I have a love hate relationship with facebook. Like you I joined out of curiosity after numerous requests from ….3 people!!. I am very proud to announce that I have only 23 friends and I am keeping it like that. People with 200 friends…. that I just do not understand!. I joined using one of my internet aliases and as such old school pals and all those who just want to see how you’re doing, have not been able to find me. (just the other day, one of those found me and I could not exactly ignore her friendship request so I reluctantly accepted her)
Thing is I am as guilty of “wanting to see how so and so is doing” as those that I accuse. I want to peruse through pictures and stuff… but I do not want to necessarily keep intouch or start something.
November 19, 2008 at 8:08 am
I was one of the first people to catch the facebook bug but left it eventually. 2months old now and sometimes am tempted to get in there just to spy on people..lol! Its pretty addictive I may say, especially when one of the first pages you open when you get to office is the Facebook page.
mrembo, your announcement is very funny.
About being buddies with your kids, thats the kind of relationship I want but its not easy to strike the buddy-disciplinarian balance. I am great friends with my son but everytime I pull a stern move after he has done some mischief, I am so close to laughing. He is taken by surprise and tries hard to make it up to me.
I like reading about you kids. I am so brooding right now but circumstances just wont let me have some ‘happy popping.’:)
Enjoy your little ones.
November 19, 2008 at 12:16 pm
@mrembo. Interesting. You are right, at first it is curiosity, then excitement at meeting old school/work mates. But after a while there is a lull. I spent an hour on phone with an old school mate, she called me from Paris. It was nice chatting though. Denzel could not believe that you can chat for an hour with someone you have not spoken to in nearly 20 yrs! To add on to that my high school mates are now organising a re-union!
@Maya-does leaving FB mean neglecting it or completely deleting your account. Just so i know when that time comes.
Best wishes with getting some more little ones. I hope it happens sooner…
November 21, 2008 at 9:15 am
Welcome to the club and I hope you have a warning that its addictive damn.. How are the young ones?
November 24, 2008 at 2:24 pm
@nakeel, little people are good as ever.
November 26, 2008 at 9:10 am
FB…huh? welcome……
its addictive….childrn…nothing is as sweet as the children voluteering to tell you how they messed up and how sorry they are