Little Miss Know-it-all

She has many faces, and lives in many different places. Or perhaps, the changes form as she follows me everywhere I go. But she most certainly catches up with me, most of the time, much to my chagrin!

Even though she has many faces, she is very pretty. And yes, she knows everything. Well, not quite, but she always knows alot more than she should. Her most conspicous characteristic, is the constant ringing of our door bell.

Ever since I became a mother, in nearly every neighbourhood that I have lived in, starting from various locations in Nairobi,  all the way to J’berg, and now in Switzerland) there is always a girl from the neighbourhood, who has a great affinity for my children, (and my house!).

She is very confident, the kind of girl who might ask you why you don’t have lipstick on. Or even mention that Angelina Jolie is about to divorce Brad Pitt! Did I say she knows many things? I have always watched her with great fascination. One thing that bothers me about her, is that she is allowed to roam about all by herself. In J’berg, she would be in our house for hours on end, before anyone would come to fetch her, after which, she’d be back in a minute.

Through the years, Little Miss has grown some. Even though I  am yet to establish this fact, I am almost certain, that she is currently all clued up about sex! And this is where my problem with Little Miss is.

I am at that stage where I have began to discuss sex with my children. I have broken this important subject into several mini-topics. So far, we have covered the anatomy part—that boys have stuff hanging out, and girls have everything tucked away—all nice and tidy. We have also covered the bits about liking and respecting your body. As we have covered, the bit about boys and men not being allowed to touch girls ‘anyhowly’. I am yet to properly define ‘anyhowly’.

Current events such as happened in Austia recently, have forced me to jump some topics, in order to discuss the concept of rape! 

I can only hope that Little Miss will not meddle into this noble task that I want to finish impeccably, sans any confusion.

Our current miss-know-it-all is allowed to go to youtube all by herself. My kids are only allowed to visit barbie.com, bratz.com and such like. Little Miss is likely to roll her eyes if I pull out Monopoly for them to play. She gets bored quick! Instead, she’d rather drag my kids to her house where they can all watch Highschool Musical. I don’t mind Highschool musical all that much. I have watched it with my kids and I can let it pass. The problem was that, one such day, I called Little Miss’s mum to ask to have my kids back, and guess what? The mum was not there! Meaning, I may not just be too sure, what my little people are being exposed to, unsupervised by any adult.

Little miss, also revealed to my little people that she is adopted. A ‘fact’ I might not need much persuation to believe.

The other day, Mish, 7, asked me what it means to be gay. And so, I found myself skipping many mini-lessons to explain this other ‘phenomenon’. To be fair, I cannot blame everything on Little Miss, but but but…

Did I say she is a sweet girl? When she last rang the bell, in addition to the wide grin on her face, she held a foil-wrapped something, which on opening, I discovered was some pastry of sorts. No, it didn’t taste good, but it was well presented. And so I thanked her, trying as much as possible not to reveal my firmly clenched teeth, while silently murmuring other things.

Perhaps the most aggravating thing is her ability to have my house turned up-side-down within just a few minutes of her getting in. Once, when I told her to go do her homework, as my kids were busy doing theirs, she flatly told me her mum was doing hers. That, without a battling an eye lid.

The other day, when her mother mentioned that they will be moving to a different location in July, I bemoaned the ‘loss we shall experience’. But I could not hide my smile as I walked back to my house, totally bouyed up by such pleasant news.