Interview No.4

My current occupation is to get myself an occupation. I mean an income earning job. I am empasizing that because, even without a paying job, I am still very occupied. Without delving into much detail, you will only need a casual glance over my blog categories to get an idea of just how occupied I am, {without an actual occupation}.

I will apply for a job, only after I have visualized myself in the role. If the mental image does not play clearly, I don’t even try. After my relocation from South Africa, I promised myself that I would give myself no less than six months before applying for any job. The reason for that being that I wanted the little people to settle down in school and to basically feel ‘at home’ a la Schweiz. [Sh-Va-ists=Swiss]

It is now eight months past, and I have began in earnest. But what a terrible job, looking for a job is! I have my standard application letter, from which I base all my applications. And boy, hasn’t it been battered. It used to begin thus, ” In response to the advert you placed on da da da da….” Then that sounded so high school. It changed to, ” The advertisement you placed on da da da da … has greatly interested me.”  And then, “I am very keen on the job you advertised on da da da da”

My CV has not been spared either. I have a couple of versions  of it, depending on the line of job I am applying. There is the math version, there is the Systems Engineer version, there is the IT- trainer version, there is the academic one for applying for PhD, for NGO jobs and another for a Technical writer. That is how deeply mutated my career has become, (and how undecided I am, or open-minded; depends on how you look at it!).

In a city such as Zurich, getting an employer to notice your CV is a big step. If they pick up the phone to call you, that is a gigantic step. Many employers determine whether or not to proceed with the interview process after that first phone call. Which is why, I now always clear my throught before answering the phone, and proceed in a tone I deem to be very professional. Even though half the time, it is my husband calling! About two weeks ago, the gentleman who called, asked me whether I was comfortable enough for him to proceed with the interview-on phone! And we went all the way upto the point of salary negotiation, all the while, my son watching muted TV in the background, and constantly gesturing whether he can turn up the volume, and me shaking my head to say “not yet”.

But it is one thing to present yourself well on paper, i.e. CV, and another to attend a face to face interview. Even though I have done this many times, the interview still fazes me somewhat. It is the one event where I feel like I am on stage, being observed. I feel my every move being analysed. At times I feel like a cow in the market being assessed for suitability for meat or milk production, being inspected for defects and the like.

My last interview was three hours ago. I hopped into the train, and as always when I do, I remembered that I am in Switzerland. (It is while I am in the train that that becomes apparent. The pin drop silence. Empty gazes. Lots of old people  that are forever on the move.)

I reflected on the many odds against me. I am black, a woman, not thin,  educated in ‘Africa’ (even though, my degree certs got evaluated and was issued with a certificate of evaluation in South Africa, to prove authenticity). And then, Ich habe drei kinder, und, Ich speche nicht Deutch. I wonder why they keep asking me that question, ” Will you manage this job, together with your children?”  To which I always want to say “No, actually, I had not thought about that. It never occurred to me.” Tut mir leid. Danke. Aufwiedersehen.

In the train, I felt small, tiny, incognito. Then I get to the main station, where we all disembarked. Suddenly, we burst into Zurich city life. I shed my previous pitiful state. My handbag hanging on one arm, I swang the other in much gusto. And matched on like everybody else. Today is my day, I am the lead actress, the star. I will play my part, then let it be what it will be. I like my shoes, just the right heel, and stockings. I never used to wear stockings before, but now I feel good in them. And my little black jacket that has just one button at the waist.

I wanted to wear a skirt today, but ruled it out. Not for this job. Today, I am playing the Systems Engineer’s role. I am a man. Men don’t wear skirts. I learnt that long ago, when T was my boss. I totally loathed him, but he taught me many things. On my first day at work, he really embarassed me. I had never opened up a PC, but I knew lots of other stuff. T had learnt things from the other end. He started up his career the factory route, fixing memory modules, and hard disks, so he knew all that stuff about master and slave cables. I didn’t. But I could tinker with the software. 

T, a tall, lanky Yugoslavian was once my boss. The company he worked for, had offered me what I considered my first really nice job. The pay was mind blowing and I was very excited t be working as a Systems Engineer. The office was open-plan. On my first day at work T wanted me to open up a computer that had gone faulty. I had never done that so I asked him “How? ” With his rather loud voice, he yelled, perhaps for all to hear, ” A whole Systems Engineer, and you have never opened up a computer?” There was pin drop silence, as necks craned and eyes turned to get a good glimpse of the new recruit. I never forgave him.

But that was years ago. I finally learnt all that stuff. Against that background, I don’t apply nail polish on my hand nails, since I will scatch them with screw drivers and metal, and I rarely wear a skirt to work, since I might need to go under people’s desks to pull and fix cables, and the server room is always dusty, therefore no white blouses! 

For today’s interview, I wore trousers. If only to give the impression that I am ready to start the job, even now. Ready to pick a screw driver and open up boxes, and to bend under the desks.

Once I arrive, my first stop is almost always the bathroom. To empty my bladder, and to take a deep breath, and to tell myself that I am good, irrespective of the outcome of today, and to remind myself one other thing —the firm handshake.

After which, bla bla bla. We will be in touch, as soon as we have made a decision. Thank you very much for your time.