New tricks, old dog…

Swiss authorities allow me to use my Kenyan driving licence for a year, after which I must attain a Swiss one. Attaining a Swiss license is entire curiculum, which includes first aid classes! I am yet to ascertain what degree one attains after the course, that is after factoring in the number of man hours and Swiss francs that goes with it. But for their credit, they allow a-one-chance conversion test, in the course of first year of residency. In the unfortunate event that one fails this test, your Kenyan license is withdrawn, and you are forbidden to drive on Swiss roads. The only solution is to then enroll for the driving degree program.

If you are from a third world nation, the scrutiny goes a notch higher. Somebody already told them that most people just buy driving licenses, even when they can’t drive. And that in most third world countries, aside from having ‘no clearly defined roads’, there are also ‘no defined rules on the roads’. Facts that I will not dispute, seeing as I am Kenyan.

On the basis of that, it is not advisable for a third world citizen to show up for the one-chance-conversion test, unless you are very certain that you will pass. And whereas you might be a good driver, third-world notwithstanding, the driving scenario here is very different. First they drive on the left hand side of the road, and all cars are left hand drive. For some geniuses, this is a small problem to overcome. For me though, it was mental anguish! Aside from that, the very road that are used by cars, are also used by trams, and there is a narrow lane for cyclists. Throw in the fact that at their best, I have found the roads extremely narrow.

If you are from Third world, you are advised, no— warned, to take a lesson or two ‘to prepare’ you for the conversion test. This sort of preparation helps one kill two birds at the same time: You not only get to know the nitty-gritties, but more importantly, the fact that you have an association with a driving school, will earn you marks during the test.

Fair enough.

But since we arrived here, nine months ago, I have been driving, albeit short distances. (read the first sentence of the post again). I have therefore overcome the handicap of driving on the ‘wrong side’ of the road, as I have become comfortable with driving a left hand car.

So far, I have not caused an accident. (although I did manage to scratch the car slightly on the rear, while squeezing into a tight parking!)

I just got baffled with the driving instructor when he insisted that I need to know how to start the car! (My valid Kenyan license dates back to 1997!) And he went ahead to enumerate points, in a different order than I am accustomed to.

Suddenly I was taken back to Sunday school singing:

 if you are happy and you know clap your hands

clap! clap!

 x2

if you are happy and you know

and you really want to show

that you are happy and you know it clap your hands.

Since I began driving, I thought that to start a car, you need to be in neutral gear, no? Unless ofcourse you are jumpstarting the car. And that you step gently on the accelerator to inject some fuel to power up the car, then you go to first gear or reverse depending on the sitution, and finally the handbreak does down.

But I could be wrong. Kenya, where I come from, is a third world country. The thing is, I don’t think about it when I am starting the car, I JUST DO IT!

Next, my driving instructor went through what he calls securing a car. Or rather how to stop a car, and here, we sang another Sunday school chorus, except that the lines were mismatched. I will spare you the details.

I am a good student, because I happen to be a teacher too. And I know that most teachers know a thing or two. I gave him a benefit of doubt, but when I recounted to my husband my ordeal, I could see for myself that a thing or two are not adding up. I found myself googling ” how to start a car” The results are here. I encourage you to read the first few lines, if only for a good laugh.

After the ‘theory’ lesson, I drove us around, during which we discussed many things. He already knows that I have three children and even their ages. The trainee driver can talk and drive at the same time. It was never the same when I first did my driving course in Kenya. Then, I couldn’t have the radio on because I wanted to concentrate of the difficult task that driving was!

I hope he is not just trying to make an extra coin, by extending my classes.

Off for driving lesson number 2.